Why Masturbation and the Rising Taboo Around It Are Concerning to Modern-Day Feminism

"I masturbate a lot these days. Especially when I'm bored. Or angry. Or upset. Or happy." — Fleabag, Season 1, Episode 2

Lines similar to this one are spoken everywhere within pop culture, songs, movies, and mainstream media narratives. Still, it always seems to be about the male experience. Even without an outright statement, it nevertheless continues to frame and imply the same perspective – that of men and AMAB people (AMAB = assigned male at birth).

The bluntness used in the series Fleabag feels entirely unusual when compared to modern media. Not because the topic of masturbation and pleasing oneself is that much of a taboo anymore, but solely because of who feels entitled to speak about it. Even within our everyday language and slang, a clear distinction can be found. While “having balls” implies being brave and daring enough to do something difficult or risky, “being a pussy” directly translates to behaving in a cowardly way. Through this slang, we can see how much language continues to position masculinity and femininity and therefore almost embraces gendered stereotypes. 

While researching the position of female sexuality in a historical context, I recently came across the idea of phallocentrism and the phallocentric view. This refers to a viewpoint that centers around, is dominated by, or prioritizes the masculine perspective and male power. It utilizes the male phallus as a symbol of authority – similar to the examples I provided earlier regarding our use of language and slang. To properly grasp how deeply this perspective is ingrained, it is necessary to look at history and how women and their sexuality and pleasure have been tabooed for decades. 

Back in the 18th and 19th centuries, the collective consciousness believed that the purpose of the female body and its reproductive system was solely to bear offspring and serve as a vessel for the male libido. This narrow understanding of the female body didn’t only remain theoretical, though. Within medical practices, it was common to diagnose women with so-called “female hysteria”, an excessively broad condition that included ‘symptoms’ like faintness, nervousness, insomnia, convulsions, a tendency to cause trouble, and many more. Overall, it is nowadays hugely labeled as a tactic to keep women who deviated from society’s expected behaviour under wraps, as they were oftentimes admitted to mental asylums. Sexuality, especially that of a female person, was nowhere near being understood as natural back then – rather, it was frequently interpreted as a symptom of some illness.

Nowadays, we’re living in times of #tmi and ‘girlhood’ where many believe that being completely open about sex, relationships, and intimacy is the way to go. Still, this openness only translates to friendships and the occasional oversharing post on social media, not the overall understanding society as a whole seems to have about the topic. For modern-day feminist discourse and conversation, the gap between what we think we talk about and what we actually do discuss is far from trivial. The continuing taboo around the topic and lack of awareness only reinforce old structures that have been limiting AFAB people’s autonomy, knowledge, and agency over their own bodies. When conversations around pleasure remain unevenly distributed, as we can still see now when male masturbation is often made the butt end of a joke while the female one is constantly shushed and sniffed out, it directly and negatively impacts how the younger generations feel about their bodies and possibly exploring them. Television shows like Fleabag talking about growing into womanhood and the feelings around it in a light-hearted way may be the first step into the right direction, but we need to acknowledge that through all of this, the taboo around the female body and how to pleasure it still lies within decade-old structures – at the end, creating discourse around it has always been the kick-off or launch to change the status-quo. 

Reference to 'female hysteria' within literature I want to point out: 

Short story “The Yellow Wallpaper” by Charlotte Perkins Gilman